nightmares, dreams, realities
by cedricsowner
Summary: Formerly "his decisions". Set immediately after Deathstroke. Oliver keeps contemplating the decisions he has made in the past and is in for an interesting revelation. So are some other members of Team Arrow. FINAL CHAPTER UP NOW!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow and intend no copyright infringement.**

_We fight back!_

Well roared, lion. And his belligerent attitude had surely made Diggle and Felicity feel better.

Oliver himself, however, was still feeling lost and desperate. He had meant what he had said: Wrong decisions all along the road – Roy, the company, Thea… And these were only the most recent ones.

If he, six years ago, had been the son his parents had wanted and deserved he wouldn't have boarded the Queen's Gambit. His father wouldn't have shot himself to protect him, his mother would have had someone by her side to support her against Malcolm Merlyn, Thea wouldn't have been so alone in that giant house. Laurel and Sara would have lived normal lives, Detective Lance wouldn't have hit the bottle…

And what about Diggle and Felicity?

Diggle would be a bodyguard with regular work hours, babysitting rich kids, and Felicity an IT girl rolling her eyes about her incompetent supervisor.

And that would be it.

No encounters with syringe wielding drug lords, claw wearing mercenaries, earthquake machine building mad men.

It was all his fault.

Oliver was so lost in thought, he didn't see the car coming that suddenly raced out of a side street. It hit him straight on.

His world turned black.

… … …

_Cursing silently, Oliver picked up the pieces of the vase he had accidentally knocked over while climbing in through the window. Great, just great, it was the green one from that castle in Austria. His mother would KILL him. Not to mention the noise he had produced. Maybe they hadn't heard him? Granted, him climbing up the rain water downpipe hadn't exactly been ninja stalking style silently, but it _was _a big house and if they were already gathered in the dining room…_

_"Dad? Dad? Are you here?" _

_The door flew open and running in came Salomon, jumping into his arms with an enthusiasm that only three year olds can muster at the sight of a parent. _

_"Was that the green vase from the Austrian castle? The one dad gave mom for their last wedding anniversary? She'll kill you." Thea came walking in, a lot less enthusiastic about his appearance than her nephew. _

_"I'm just a few minutes late, there's really no reason to pick on me." Oliver put his son down. _

_"You come climbing in through _A WINDOW_ like some comic book vigilante, you're _THIRTY MINUTES_ late for a dinner that mom has been talking about for weeks and you're _REEKING_…" Thea stopped herself. "Sal, honey, why don't you tell grandma that your dad has finally decided to grace us with his presence?"_

_Sal could sense the tension in the air and refrained from asking what "to grace" meant. He quickly disappeared downstairs. _

_"_REEKING _of another woman's perfume. I really don't get you, Oliver. You fought mom tooth and nail so you could marry a short-skirted low level QC employee and now you cheat on her. Who was it tonight, Laurel or Sara?"_

_"This is really none of your business, Thea", Oliver snapped at his sister. _

_"At least have the decency to change your shirt!"_

_Ten minutes later Oliver had finally made it downstairs. His mother was in a state way too agitated for a simple family dinner. Yeah, she had indeed talked about it for weeks and insisted they all attended, but the way she hugged him and told him how glad she was that he had made it was definitely over the top. What was going on with her? _

_"Where's your wife?", she asked as she finally let go of him. _

_Ooops…_

_"Oliver, you haven't forgotten to tell your wife about tonight's dinner?" His mother's voice took on a panicky note. _

_"She's in the Glades, teaching that computer course for underprivileged children… sorry, it really slipped my mind…", Oliver shrugged. It really wasn't his fault that his mother still, two years after the wedding, chose to avoid talking to his wife whenever she could although they lived under the same roof. "Guess we have to eat without her." _

_Only then he noticed that within seconds his mother's face had lost all color. _

"SHE'S IN THE GLADES? IN THE GLADES? CALL HER! YOU'VE GOT TO CALL HER! TELL HER TO COME HERE! NOW!"

_She was screaming at him at the top of her lungs, so loud that even Oliver realized something was very wrong. _

_"Mom. Calm down. What's going on?" _

"SHE'S NOT SAFE THERE!" _Moira Queen was still screaming. _

_"Oh don't worry about that. Mr. Diggle is accompanying her. What is this all about?" _

_His mother collapsed onto the nearest chair. And then she told them what this was all about. Malcolm Merlyn. The Undertaking. An artificial earthquake. She had tried to keep her family safe by insisting on that dinner. _

_Of course Oliver had his wife on speed dial. She picked up at the third ring. "You've got to come home – NOW!", he shouted at her. _

_"Oliver, you know very well how important…" _

_A horrible noise, like a roll of thunder, drowned out her voice. _

"FELICITY? FELICITY!"

_The connection had gone dead. _

_Darkness. _

… … ….

"Oliver? Oliver…"

His eyes slowly fluttered open to the artificial light of a hospital room. Luckily he hadn't worn his Arrow outfit when the car had hit him. No nosy questions.

"Thank God you're alive. The doctors said your injuries were relatively minor, you must have managed to somehow roll over the car's hood, that somehow cushioned the impact… was that two somehows in one sentence? Oh God, you really scared us, I mean you scare us a lot and especially lately but this time…"

Her face was hovering above his, surrounded by the room's lighting like a gloriole. Pulling all remains of strength he could muster together he sat up, wrapped his arms around her and covered her face with kisses.

"Felicity…", he breathed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow and intend no copyright infringement. **

_A/N: LalaWho: Ta souhaite c'est m'ordre. __Big thanks, as always, to niagaraweasel, my wonderful betaweasel! _

"I have to say, it _is_ a bid odd, receiving news that one's boyfriend was involved in a car accident, rushing to the hospital worried to death and then finding him passionately kissing another woman." Sara undressed and slipped into an oversized t-shirt.

"It wasn't _passionate_. I was just… _relieved_, that's all." The doctors had given Oliver clearance to leave the hospital, so he was spending the night at Sara's.

"I mean, I like Felicity, too, but…" Sara smiled at Oliver in an attempt to cushion the stinger in her statement. Truth to be told, though, she wasn't sure whether to shrug the incident off as the aftereffect of the painkillers they had given him or take it seriously, as a symptom that something was wrong.

Great. Relationship problems. Exactly what they needed right now, with Slade circling them like a chemically zapped up vulture and her father in prison.

Sara decided to grant him the benefit of the doubt and shrugged it off. It had been a long day. "Let's go to bed, shall we?" She climbed into bed, patted the empty space on the mattress next to her and Oliver wordlessly complied.

She did, however, notice that the kiss he planted on her lips was a lot less enthusiastic than those he had covered Felicity's face with.

Oh well, it had been a long day and Oliver was probably exhausted. He was already asleep seconds after lying down and closing his eyes.

His face was so grave. Was he dreaming?

… … …

_The whole city was in mourning. Flags at half-mast everywhere. Public life had come to a standstill. The Glades were no more. The latest body count said 5308 victims. _

_Five thousand three hundred and eight._

_In the Queen household they were mourning only one, but that one weighed like five thousand three hundred and eight. They had found Felicity under a table, shielded by Mr. Diggle's broken torso. Bodyguard till the end. _

_In a fleeting thought Oliver contemplated that he would have liked to know Mr. Diggle better. There had been something about him… always respectful, but never even in the vicinity of ass-kissing. He had consistently refused to help him out when in trouble with the ladies – "So not part of my job description, Mr. Queen." _

_For the briefest of moments the memory made him smile. Then he saw the tear-streaked face of his son, clinging to Thea's arms as if he was drowning, and the reality of the situation came crashing down on him. _

_She was gone. Forever gone. _

_Although hundreds of funerals were being held these days many people had come to the Queen mansion to attend Felicity's wake. Oliver wished they hadn't set up the table with the refreshments in the living-room. The very same room where he had told Thea and his mother that he was going to marry Felicity Smoak, IT girl, who had given birth to his son after what had been planned as nothing more than a simple one night stand following a Christmas staff party at QC. _

_Thea – his teenage sister! – had flat out told him that he was not mature enough for marriage. His mother had made it very clear that a low level employee of the company was far beneath the standards of the Queen family. _

_He had given both of them the same answer: His son deserved a father and he was going to do the right thing. In the end, after hours of back and forth and lots of shouting Oliver came out on top and the wedding bells were rung._

_The _right _thing? How many times had he cheated on her? Salomon had deserved a father, yes, but Felicity had deserved a good husband just as much. He had failed her. Good Lord had he failed her. _

_He wiped the tears from his eyes and let his gaze wander around the room. _

_Not only Salomon was clinging to Thea as if he was drowning. His sister, in return, was holding on to the boy like a lifeline. Yes, she was sad that Felicity had died. They had really grown to like each other in the course of the past two years. _

_But Oliver knew that Thea's pain over Felicity's demise was definitely outweighed by the giant elephant in the room. The one that had written 5308 all over its hide. Their mother had the blood of 5308 people on her hands. Yes, she had been threatened by Malcolm Merlyn, she had only played along to protect her family, but still… 5308… _

_So far nobody had a clue what had caused the earthquake, nobody knew it had been foul play. She and Oliver were the only ones who knew the truth. Should they tell the police? This could result in the death penalty. Better to stay mum? _

_Mr. Diggle's ex-wife, Lyla, had unexpectedly made an appearance. The way she was looking at his mother gave Oliver the creeps. _

_Until Malcolm Merlyn entered the room, that is. How dare he! After everything he had done to them, to the city, he came walking right into their house, to attend the wake of one of his victims, of FELICITY, for heaven's sake!_

_Oliver's grief transformed into anger within seconds. Hatred washed over him so intensely, he broke the crystal glass in his hands. The shards cut into his skin. He didn't even notice. _

_Maybe it was all too much – the truth about his father's death, Felicity's death, his mother's involvement in mass murder… it was as if someone had flipped a switch in his brain. No more rational thinking. He left the room and walked up to his father's study. _

_Years ago he had discovered a secret compartment in the giant desk from which Robert Queen had commanded his empire when not at his office. It contained a gun. Without second thought Oliver opened the small space, took out the weapon and hid it in his suit coat before returning to the living-room. _

_"We need to talk, Mr. Merlyn." _

_Without any questions Malcolm Merlyn followed Oliver to one of the huge balconies adorning the Queen mansion. Where Oliver immediately pulled his father's gun on him. _

_"You're going to shoot me? With all those witnesses downstairs? Doesn't sound like much of a plan to me, Oliver."_

_He was right. But Oliver didn't care. He aimed straight at Malcolm Merlyn's heart. _

_For about half a second. _

_Then the gun was taken from his hand at lightning speed while a violent kick to his legs and another to his stomach sent him crashing to the floor. _

_"You little idiot didn't even release the safety catch", Malcolm Merlyn hissed at Oliver's squirming form. "I gather you're not willing to stay silent about the true nature of the disaster that hit the Glades so badly? Real pity you're coming after your father after all." He smiled, but there was not a hint of mirth in his eyes, only arctic coldness. "Unfortunately you committed suicide, overwhelmed by grief after your wife's tragic demise. I'll grant your family the opportunity to choose an open coffin." _

_He grabbed Oliver and, with one fluid motion, threw him over the balcony's balustrade. _

_The bushes on the ground cushioned Oliver's fall a little, but really only just enough to let him survive for a few seconds before perishing of internal bleeding. In the last few seconds of his life, Oliver, through a veil of blood and tears, saw Felicity on her wedding day, in that beautiful pink dress she had chosen because white hadn't been really appropriate. Felicity, with his one year old son in her arms, turning and laughing in a shower of rose petals. _

... … …

Oliver jerked awake so violently, Sara woke up, too. Blinking, shivering, covered in cold sweat, he looked around the room.

"Ollie? Everything okay?"

For a long while he said nothing at all. His face, however spoke volumes. At first she refused to let the message sink in. But there was no escape.

When he finally opened his mouth to speak, Sara put a trembling finger to his lips. "I understand."

She took a deep breath.

"Tell Felicity it's okay. It really is."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow and intend no copyright infringement. **

_A/N: This started as a tiny little plot bunny hopping around my living-room and hiding under the sofa every time my dog came in. By now the dog is hiding from the bunny, so big has it grown. I blame spitfire303, who inspired this chapter, LalaWho (merci beaucoup…) and Ini ;-) Big thanks, as always, to my betaweasel... _

When Felicity returned from the hospital she was in a turmoil of emotions. First the news that Oliver had been run down by a car, then waiting for the doctors' verdict, after that endless hours of waiting for him to wake up… and when she had thought the rollercoaster ride was finally over, Oliver had kissed her.

OLIVER had KISSED her.

Granted, not on the mouth, but his lips had touched her face – her forehead, the bridge of her nose, her cheekbones, her chin… like butterfly wings they had fluttered against her skin with a softness she would have never thought possible for such a muscular man. His breath had fogged her glasses. And now she also knew what she had silently been wondering about for ages: His beard didn't scratch at all.

Oh GOD.

OLIVER HAD KISSED HER!

Felicity dropped her handbag and coat in the corridor and made a beeline for the kitchen. She really needed food to process this. Half a bucket of Chocolate Peppermint Crunch ice-cream in the back of her freezer came in very handy for starters, followed directly by a hamburger with country fries, three pancakes with maple syrup and finally, because of the vitamins, a raw celery stalk.

Now she felt calmer.

Oliver had kissed her… considering the amount of painkillers and other drugs they must have given him to curb the consequences of the accident, he had probably confused her with Sara. Yes. That was the most likely explanation.

A simple mistake on his side. Nothing more. And maybe the universe's attempt to make her happy one more time before she was going to perish in their final battle with Slade.

Ugh. Very-gloomy-thought-creeping-up-out-of-nowhere-alert. Felicity quickly tried to push it back into the dark corner of her mind where it had emerged from, but truth to be told, she was worried, very worried. Slade had not only the advantage of having planned his revenge for years, he had also managed to worm his way into Oliver's head. He was not as focused as he should be. There was a chance that this time around they wouldn't come out on top.

Be that as it may, though, she was going to stand by his side.

And, after today's incident, at least die with the very happy memory of Oliver's kisses.

Suddenly dead tired from the events of the past almost 48 hours and tons of food she drifted off to sleep on her sofa. Soon, however, she started tossing and turning in a dark, chaotic dream.

She really shouldn't have eaten that raw celery.

… … …

_Cursing her car, Felicity opened the vehicle's hood, checked the engine and slammed it shut again. Yes, her main field of expertise were computers, but she did know a thing or two about cars, too, and for heaven's sake, there was nothing wrong with this car! _

_Except that it had all of a sudden died on her in the middle of what had to be Starling City's darkest, most creepy and most forlorn road, right in the center of what had once been a part of the Glades. _

_Oliver had warned her to take this road many times, but it was the shortest way to her home and with the gas prices so high… not to mention that it helped silencing her ecological conscience to use her car as little as possible. "What do I have my cell phone for?", she had always replied when he had gone all dark green mother hen on her. "If anything happens I call you guys." _

_Only that her cell phone wasn't working now. Just like her car it had simply gone dead from one second to the next. _

_The lair was about half a mile away. Should she risk walking back there? Criminals were lurking in the dilapidated buildings and the police rarely ventured here. Well, the alternative would be to remain sitting here in the darkness, waiting for the car to repair itself… easy decision. Felicity locked her car and started walking. _

_The feeling that she wasn't alone set in almost immediately her car was out of sight. Somehow, as useless as it had been, it had provided her with a feeling of protection. None of that now. The cold night air was sending shivers down her spine, or was it the silence of the ruined buildings all around? Her footsteps echoed from endless walls with boarded up windows and collapsed roofs. _

_But her footsteps weren't the only thing echoing back in this urban desert. There was another sound, much less audible, almost beneath hearing level… like the soft paws of a tigress jumping from one jungle tree to another. _

_Or the fluttering of the wings of a black canary bird. _

_"Sara? Is that you?" _

_No answer. But out the shadows stepped a leather clad female figure, blond hair flowing like Medusa's mane. _

_Felicity told herself that the woman's eyes weren't glowing crimson red with anger, that it was just a trick of the light and a result of her being scared to death. _

_"Did you do something to my car and my cell?" Dumb question, really. The answer was quite obvious, wasn't it? But Felicity felt she was going to burst if she didn't say anything. Sara's silent silhouette was absolutely unnerving. _

_"Just planted a nice little device inside each of them. Old army gimmick that the League adopted a while ago. Funny, you could have overridden the effect with a single impulse from your wristwatch's battery, but of course you would have to have known about that trick first." _

_"Sara, I swear, _he _kissed _me_, I would never try to take Oliver from you, I know you love him, it's cruel seducing another woman's man, I really didn't do anything!" _

_"Just like I'm not going to do anything to you now. I'll just leave you alone. Maybe you'll make it to the morning. My little friends here will keep an eye on you." _

_And with that Sara reached behind her back, produced a rucksack, opened it… and out flew canary birds, dozens and dozens of pitch black canary birds, clamoring in a horribly high pitched tone and turning directly towards Felicity, attacking like a bomber squadron. _

… … …

Felicity woke up screaming. She all but jumped off the sofa, lost balance, crashed to the floor, scrambled to her feet again and dashed to the bathroom where she violently threw up.

Oh my, never would she eat raw celery again. The extra vitamins were definitely not worth this.

As she slowly came to her senses again and the cool bathroom tiles gradually soothed her overexcited nerves, Felicity came to the conclusion that the dream represented more than just a warning to stay away from uncooked products of nature, organically grown or not.

Even before she hadn't allowed herself contemplating more than fleetingly that Oliver's kisses in the hospital could have been more than just the side effects of heavy medication. Now she forbade herself to think in that direction at all.

Oliver was Sara's. Period.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow and intend no copyright infringement. **

_A/N: LalaWho – je me félicite que tu savoures mon petit fic! _

"Oh no. Oh NO! OHNOOHNOOHNO! This CAN'T be! We're THIS close!" Felicity knew it was foolish, but she nevertheless tried the door handle one more time, rattled it, tore at it.

Of course the massive metal door that stood between her and the solution to all of their problems remained locked.

If she could only see better… maybe there was another way… but the corridor was bathed in semi-darkness, no surprise, considering that the electricity of the whole building was down. Only the full moon and the streetlamps outside provided a little bit of illumination.

She needed to get inside that room!

Oliver was stalling right now as best as he could, playing hide and seek with Slade, but it was only a question of time before the final confrontation was inevitable. If they hadn't managed to set their plan in motion till then, Slade would break Oliver into pieces like a porcelain doll. Unfortunately Slade had gotten wind of their little trick and taken precautions. Very thorough precautions.

Oh, for heaven's sake, why was that goddamn thing locked? Felicity kicked the metal in sheer desperation.

_Creak…_

Creak?

Felicity kicked again.

_Creak…_

This wasn't wishful thinking. The door was definitely making a noise that it wasn't supposed to make. A noise that indicated fatigue of material, faulty design or neglect of maintenance – in one word: hope.

If she could only see better! Groping around in the darkness she tried to locate the door's hinges. Yes, while the surface of the door itself felt smooth there was definitely a rough quality to the movable parts that connected door and doorframe. Felicity lifted her index finger to her nose, sniffed at it, then decided to play it safe and reluctantly also licked at it.

Rust. Definitely.

Okay, so if the hinges were the weakest part of the door she needed to concentrate her attempts of forcing it open on them… but how?

Diggle had a gun! "Digg? Can you shoot at the hinges and destroy them? That should work!"

No reply.

"Digg?"

Felicity slowly turned around. John had been directly behind her when they had entered the corridor. Where…?

Oh no.

At first Felicity hoped the bad lighting was playing a trick on her, but that part of the corridor was relatively well lit by the streetlamp outside. He was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall in an awkward angle. When Felicity reached his side she realized that despite Sara's attempt to attract enemy fire Diggle had gotten shot in the shoulder. He was alive but unconscious.

Now what? His weapon was still in his holster, but she had never fired a gun.

"Diggle! Wake up!", Felicity cried. Time was running out for them.

But Diggle couldn't answer. He was lost in the realm of a deep blackout.

… … …

_Diggle comfortably stretched his arms and yawned. He felt completely relaxed and at peace with the world. The soft sheets, one of the trademark services the Ostrander Hotel provided, caressed his naked skin and made him drowsy again. _

_"We should really sleep in today…", a very familiar female voice right by his side suggested. _

_Familiar, but not ex-wife, current girlfriend familiar. _

_"FELICITY?" _

_Diggle jerked upright, grabbed the sheets to cover himself and regretted the decision a second later when he discovered that he wasn't the only one sleeping nude. He threw the sheets over her and rolled out of bed, hiding from her view on the floor. One sweeping look around revealed that his clothes (and hers!) were strewn all over the suite, no chance to get to them without revealing very private parts to a certain Team Arrow member…_

_"Digg? Everything okay?" _

_"What are you doing here?" _

_"We celebrated our victory over Slade last night, don't you remember? Oliver had invited us all to that restaurant right around the corner and somehow… after Sara and Oliver were gone… we kind of decided to top the evening off with… uh… you really don't remember?" Felicity produced bedclothes rustling sounds that indicated she was scrambling over the mattress to his sight, probably to actually look at Diggle while talking to him. _

_He, however, was still lying on the floor, still undressed. _

_"Stay where you are!"_

_An onslaught of images attacked him – him offering Felicity to give her a ride home, Felicity linking arms with him on the sidewalk, snuggling against him in the cold night… how had they had such harmless team member exchange led to a night at the Ostrander? _

_Suddenly Felicity had stumbled and he had caught her … "You're always there to support me, Digg… always…" And then she had brushed a kiss against his lips. _

_But this brief kiss, still almost innocent, just a tiny bit over the line, could hardly have been the starting signal to a night of passion, could it? _

_Diggle saw himself pull Felicity closer to him and deepen the kiss. _

_Oh. Okay._

_More flashes of images – Felicity undressing, Felicity lying back in the cushions, Felicity moaning with…_

_NO. Oh hell, no. _

_This was all wrong. The place in his bed was Lyla's place and no one else's. Felicity was his friend, he highly valued the bond between them, she made him smile in the worst of situations, provided some much needed warmth and comfort in the sometimes very cold lair…._

_Ugh._

_With words! With WORDS, goddamnit!_

_But Lyla was his woman. Lyla. Not Felicity. This was all wrong! _

_"Diggle? Are we going to stay like that? Me in bed and you on the floor?" _

_"No. We need to get up. Now." _

… … …

The first thing Diggle saw when he opened his eyes was the last thing he wanted to see after the nightmare he had just had. Felicity's face.

"Digg? I need you to shoot at the hinges of the door! The fuse box is right behind it, with a little impulse from my battery's wristwatch I can reactivate it and then our transmitter will work again. It's an old army trick. The water molecules in Slade's blood consist of an oxygen atom with a double negative charge and two hydrogen ions with a single positive charge. The electrical impulses from our transmitter, with a negative charge, will cause the molecules to align in such a way that the positive-charged hydrogen ions turn in one direction and the negative-charged oxygen ion in the other. That should reverse the effect of the Mirakuru and Oliver should be able to beat Slade."

"I'm fully aware of our plan, Felicity." Groaning, Diggle clambered to his feet.

"Yes, I know, but I'm nervous as hell and you know me when I'm nervous…" In the midst of all the bloodshed, pain, fear and grave danger she managed to smile at him. It seemed to light up the whole corridor and gave Diggle the ounce of extra strength he needed to keep his gun steady.

"Felicity? Promise me one thing – if this works we'll celebrate this at Big Belly Burger and THAT'S IT."

He pulled the trigger.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow and intend no copyright infringement. **

They did go to Big Belly Burger. Bloodied, roughed up and more or less slightly injured they must have been, although they of course put on fresh clothes, quite a sight, but that evening it didn't matter. They retreated to a quiet corner of the restaurant and celebrated.

Slade and his army were beaten. Once and for all. Their plan had worked. Sebastian Blood and Isabel Rochev were gone for good. The war was over.

Words could not describe the enormous relief they all felt. Chatting and joking they processed their way through a big heap of the most unhealthy food they could find on the menu. Felicity provided the mystery of the evening: She didn't want to tell them how she had obtained the knowledge that had allowed her to counterbalance Slade's old army trick with the battery of her wristwatch.

"The League of Assassins developed this special type of countermeasure", Sara mused. "It's kept a secret reserved for League members only. This is really an odd thing for you to know. Tell us the truth, Felicity, when did you join?"

"I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you", Felicity replied. She said it so unconvincingly, with a question mark at the end of her statement and a nervous smile on her face, they all couldn't help but laugh.

"So, what are your plans now?", Felicity addressed Sara and Oliver, trying to change the subject. "Some R&R in a premier ski resort? Or on a tropical island? Tahiti is beautiful at this time of year. Cayman Islands, too…"

Sara and Oliver exchanged glances. In order to avoid any further distractions for the team they had decided not to tell the others about their breakup till the issue with Slade was resolved. Secretly Sara had also been hoping that Oliver would change his mind and stay with her, but his mind was not the problem, his heart was. Just like the night after the car accident, when he had woken up so troubled and shaken, she could even right now read in his face who his true love was.

"Tahiti sounds great, but we wouldn't go together. Oliver and I have decided to… reduce… our … relationship status… to team members only", Sara said.

Whoa. That was quite a revelation. Both Diggle and Felicity were stunned.

"But why…? So suddenly? What happened? You didn't do anything stupid with another woman, did you?", Felicity burst out in the direction of Oliver, looking ready to upload a really mean virus on his smart phone.

Sara flinched at the "another woman" part. She tried to hide it, but Felicity wasn't blind.

"Maybe we should call it a night", Diggle said, sensing that an air of uneasiness was creeping in. Everybody agreed and they started packing up.

As Oliver paid the bill, Sara quickly pulled him aside: "You might want to wait forty-eight hours before you ask Felicity out…"

Oliver agreed that she did have a point.

He was welcome at the Queen mansion again and thus he spent the night in his old room, staring at the ceiling, his mind windmilling about old times and new beginnings. In the gray of dawn he finally fell asleep.

… … …

_Just to be on the safe side Oliver had accessed Felicity Smoak's personnel file and taken a good look at her photo. He imagined meeting the mother of his child and not recognizing her would be quite awkward. She wasn't hard to spot, though. Carrying their six months old child in her arms, she entered the café and pretty much made a beeline for his table. _

_"So this is it", she said, smiling at him in a polite, but not exactly enthusiastic way as she sat down. _

_"This is what?" _

_"Our first date. Yay. I mean, not our first meeting, obviously, but the first time we're just sitting down and talking, actually getting to know each other…" She still wasn't looking terribly enthusiastic. _

_Oliver wondered if he should have brought her flowers. Then the baby on her lap began to squirm and giggle and Oliver could think of nothing else but the fact that this – this incredibly perfect little human being – was his son. _

_"I'm sorry for how things went down between us. I really am. But I want to make up for it, really." He reluctantly held his index finger close to the child and he reached for it. _

_"He likes you", Felicity said and Oliver had the feeling that she usually didn't talk in such short sentences. The poor woman… what had he put her through? He was pretty sure a lesser person would have grabbed the chance and sued him for alimony till his trust fund was reduced to a bus driver's income. Not Felicity Smoak. She had quietly left the company and attempted to raise the child alone. Only a coincidence had brought the truth to light. _

_"You chose a beautiful name", Oliver said, waggling his finger while his son held on tight. _

_"Salomon Oliver Robert Smoak in full", she replied._

_Robert. She had honored his father! Oliver had come to this "date" with a specific plan in mind. He had been unsure whether it was a good idea or not, had struggled with it, spent sleepless nights contemplating it… All that insecurity evaporated the moment she had told him that the child was carrying his father's name. _

_"I want it to be Salomon Oliver Robert _Queen_", he stated. I want him to take his rightful place as the Queen family's first heir." _

_Felicity's reaction came promptly: "I will not give him up for adoption!" _

_"I'm not talking about adoption. I'm talking about marriage. I want to marry you, Felicity Smoak."_

_It occurred to Oliver that he maybe should have brought a ring. _

_Felicity, however, was completely shocked and a ring was most likely the last thing on her mind. "You've gone insane." _

_"I know what it is like to have to grow up without a father. And you do, too, don't you?" _

_Felicity's personnel file had been very detailed. _

_"I don't want my son to go through the same hell you and I have been through. I want him to experience a family. A real family, not some patchwork BS with weekend visits and split holidays. I want him to have both parents at the same time, a mom _and_ a dad attending Thanksgiving school productions, Little League baseball games, holidays in the Hamptons _together_… I want to build a volcano with him while you bake cookies so he can sell them as a Boy Scout… I don't want to be a blurred figure hovering at the edge of his life, I want to take part in it. _With _you."_

_Felicity bit her lip. He had just described the life she had dreamt of when she had been a child. _

… … …

"Have you heard about that movie? It's just been released." Oliver was leaning against Felicity's computer desk in a posture that was supposed to indicate relaxedness.

Felicity was kneeling under the table, busying herself with some hardware parts. "No", she replied.

"I know it's just been released. I saw adverts for it all over the city." Oliver's voice was meant to sound playful, but there was a tremble to it that had a totally different quality.

"I meant: I haven't heard about it." Felicity got up. "I need to replace these boards", she said, smiled at Oliver in an uncharacteristically reluctant way and walked out of the lair.

"You've done this before, haven't you?", Diggle, who had watched Oliver's attempts at asking Felicity out on a date from the other side of the room, chuckled. "'Cause what you're showing right now is Junior High level… the president of the chess club trying to get acknowledged by the top cheerleader."

"She isn't making this any easier!", Oliver complained in exasperation. "She's totally ignoring all my signals…"

"Maybe she's sensing how unsure you are…"

"Don't know what you mean." Oliver developed an intense interest in the floor beneath his feet.

"She's been a great friend for so long… you're already sharing a deep bond… you're worried to risk what you already got for some totally unknown territory." With a shudder Diggle remembered the nightmare he had had of himself and Felicity just recently. This was exactly why he wanted Lyla, not Felicity. What he had with Felicity was too special to risk. "I need her as a friend. She is an irreplaceable support to me. You have to make up your mind and figure out what _you _want."

Oliver closed his eyes and for the briefest of moments he saw the image of Salomon, his non-existing son.

_Yet_ non-existing.

Diggle poured himself a new cup of coffee, giving Oliver a chance to mull things over in peace. When he looked up again, he was gone.

… … …

Felicity fixed herself the second pot of chamomile tea that evening, but she still wasn't calm at all. Oliver and Sara had broken up… Sara had flinched when she had mentioned "another woman"… Oliver had tried asking her out. Or was she just imagining this? Wishful thinking? And boy, had she spent a significant part of the last year wishfully thinking... fantasizing...

"You've been very brave."

Felicity wheeled around. Her kitchen window was open and climbing in came Sara, in her vigilante outfit. Felicity remembered her nightmare and pinched herself. No, she was not dreaming this time around.

"Not many women withstand the charm of Oliver Queen", Sara continued.

"I'm so terribly sorry, Sara… you two seemed so happy together… and now he wants to go out with me? I swear I didn't…"

"Hey…" Sara took Felicity's arm and lightly squeezed it in a gesture of comfort. "You are not afraid of me, are you? What do think I would do to you?"

Felicity decided that "release a flock of vicious canary birds on me" would probably not make much sense. "This is so awkward… he drops Laurel and chooses you and now he drops you and chooses me…"

"You're still interested in him, aren't you?" Sara winked behind her mask.

"I don't want to hurt you. And I don't want to be a plaything."

"This is the first time Oliver ended something and was honest about it. We addressed the issue and talked about it like mature people. Did it hurt? Yes. Do I envy you? Yes. But the fact that Oliver was able to break out of his habit of simply cheating on somebody instead of ending a relationship properly before starting the next shows that you are the right person for him… and I'm not."

Sara hugged Felicity.

A moment later she was gone out of the window again.

Felicity had barely time to process the surprise visit when her doorbell rang.

Oliver. With a bouquet of flowers.

"There's this really nice restaurant around the corner…", he started again.

"We could just stay here", Felicity replied, accepting the flowers. "I mean… to talk… and all… ugh… by _and all _I mean… talking… of course…"

"I want you to have the most wonderful first date ever, Felicity", he said, took her hand, bowed and led her out into the night.

A second later Felicity was back, dashing to her bathroom. Too much chamomile tea. But then they did go out on a wonderful date.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow and intend no copyright infringement. **

_A/N: LalaWho, tes commentaires me fait plus de plaisir! Merci!_

Three dates. Three dates with Felicity. Real dates with food, music, movies, lots of lighthearted conversation and a picnic on the rooftop of QC. And no detectable damage to the team spirit. Sara was okay with it, Diggle was okay with it, they still worked fine as a unit.

So all was well on the vigilante front _and _on the home front. Who could ask for more?

Felicity did, actually. At least sort of.

She had invited Oliver to her home for tonight's date. _I'll fix us something to eat, we watch a DVD on the sofa and then see where things go, what do you think? _

Oliver had a pretty good idea of what she thought where things would go. And up till last night he would have been very willing to comply with her wishes.

Then, unfortunately, he had had a dream.

… … …

_Theoretically alcoholic beverages were not supposed to be served in significant amounts at QC Christmas staff parties. But if Oliver Queen, son of Robert Queen, rightful heir to the family empire, brought them in – would you cite the company rules? _

_The higher management decided to grin and bear it, the majority of the rest of the employees simply enjoyed the unexpected opportunity to have a really good time at the company's expense. _

_Oliver surely had a really good time, too. He had spotted the blond IT girl right from the beginning. High heels, very short skirts, tightly-fitting blouse that made clear she was rather well endowed… _

_She loved talking – the slightest encouragement from Oliver and she produced a seemingly endless stream of words. He was well-practiced in enduring female babblings, there _is_ a price you've got to pay – no sweet without sweat – but Felicity's babble was actually entertaining. She made him laugh, really laugh – not the fake, well-practiced sound he produced to make a girl believe he was interested in more than her body. The laughter Felicity instigated came from his heart. _

_He couldn't wait to undress her. _

_Felicity was a bit tipsy, but she was by no means drunk. She was old and experienced enough to guess where this was heading. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized that maybe she should walk away from Mr. Queen before things would get awkward in the morning, but she was in a bit of an adventurous mood. Mr. Queen was hot, he was interested in her, she wasn't in a relationship right now, it was Christmas… She thought she knew what she was doing. _

_Oliver, of course, had had a couple of drinks, too, but his level of tolerance was pretty high. He thought he knew exactly what he was doing. _

_They ended up in one of the offices of the higher management level. Oliver used to have his own office at QC, he moved in a couple of months after the Gambit's sinking in a short-lived attempt at honoring his father by following him in his footsteps, but after about a year his mother shut it down because… oh well, let's just say he used it not exactly for business purposes. A swanky office with a BIG, highly polished oak table, a BIG black leather chair and BIG windows that allowed you a grand view of the city undeniably had an eroticizing effect. His mother completely renovated the office before she let anyone else use it. She made especially sure that the carpet got removed. _

_So with Felicity Oliver had to use someone else's office, but it really wasn't complicated, he still had a skeleton key for the building and knew what room provided the most solid desk. In the morning the rightful office occupant, Mr. Cooper, one of the company's top accountants, a man in his early sixties and as boring as his job implied, was rather surprised to find odd marks on his table's surface… like imprints from… stiletto heels?_

… … …

Images of that dream still flashed up in Oliver's mind as he walked up to Felicity's doorstep. He felt sick to his stomach. All those dreams lately, they were definitely taking a toll on him. A son, sired in the context of a meaningless one-night stand… one one-night stand in an endless row of similar events. And even worse – Felicity, degraded to nothing but a toy, used for pleasure, discarded the next day.

She deserved so much better.

Felicity opened her home's door in a very pretty dress. Delicious smells of the dinner that was waiting for him wafted through the corridor as she led him into the kitchen. She looked like the dessert.

Oliver took a deep breath. "There's something I've got to tell you", he said, not sitting down.

Felicity's face lost all color: "Oh no. I knew this was going to happen! I knew something would go wrong. This was just too good… what is it? Are you afraid of losing me? Are you afraid I might get hurt? Is it too much of a commitment?"

"Felicity…" Oliver put a silencing finger on her trembling lips. Swallowing drily she went still, awaiting what she was sure was going to be THE END.

Oliver went down on one knee.

"Would you like to marry me?"

He reached into the pocket of his jacket, produced a tiny black box and opened the lid.

Felicity made a sound somewhere between a gasp and an ugh.

"I want us to have dinner tonight and then we watch the DVD… and then I go home." Oliver kissed Felicity's forehead.

"Wait… you want to wait till the wedding night?"

Oliver missed the slightly alarmed note in her voice.

"You are the most wonderful person I have ever met. The best thing that has ever happened to me. You deserve that we go about this properly. The right way. We tell the team, Thea, Mom… hire a wedding planner… You get a custom-tailored wedding gown, we'll hire a band, sample lots and lots of cake… make an enormously long guest list…"

"Oliver, a grand wedding as you describe it takes at least six months of planning."

The alarmed note in her voice was not slight anymore, but Oliver definitely had his mind on other things.

"Yes", he affirmed sheepishly.

"Have you lost your mind? SIX MONTHS! No way, Mister!"

She grabbed him by the collar and dragged him off to the bedroom.

… … …

A few weeks later Felicity was paying the lair's bathroom a visit for a rather onerous activity. For the third time that day.

Oliver was outside the door, listening to his wife retching and inwardly smiling. "Is there anything you'd like to tell me, honey?"

"Six months from now I'm not going to fit into that goddamn custom-made dress anymore!" Wiping her face with a wet towel, Felicity opened the door and leaned against the frame in utter defeat.

"Maybe we should elope after all…"

"Seriously?" Felicity's eyes lit up.

"The company jet could fly us to Vegas right away. I could make you Mrs. Oliver Queen tonight… If that is what you want."

"Sara just called! Her bags are packed! And Lyla is already on her way to the airport!", Diggle called from the computer area of the lair.

"You've already arranged everything? You know me well…" Felicity sank into Oliver's arms. "Sometimes I fear this is all a dream…"

"No", Oliver whispered and kissed her, placing a hand on her stomach. "This is reality."

THE END


End file.
